Book title autobiographical sketch with special reference to the titles and themes of
Colin Wilson . 1931-2013
Looking backward , how much of my life was
a ritual in the dark?
I cultivated the strength to dream but
neglected my deeper self. . .
First I lived as a semi-steppenwolf and sang
a song of stone; light and
death were my companions.
I remember midnight
on the desert ( of time and stars)
in those desolate years. (The outsider archetype,
plagued by traumas and fears.)
With my backpack bulging I set off in search
of the miraculous, convinced I was more
than a ghost in a machine.
So, I was dreaming to some purpose, fighting
the war against sleep. For many years
I toiled along the mountain path. The dark night
of the soul part of the scene.
I decided too early that the way
ahead was in doing nothing. Yet even the masters
say their lives consisted of one mistake
after another! Light goes with darkness as
the steps in walking. Walk on!
The lifeforce is impersonal and is all
and everything; a flickering flame dancing
through the aeons. (See a billion bipeds scurrying like bugs:
that’s you and me as well as sages and thugs.)
The trembling flame flickers through
a billion flickering life-forms and seems –
ceaseless and eternal. A thousand names
(This is the universe’s purpose; to become
conscious of itself. . .)
I am not who I thought I was. . .
I talk of dreams but practice the power
of now; no longer fear
and trembling quite as much.
[There are 23 book titles here. 6 are CW titles. Can you find the other authors?]